Poor unsuspecting me walked into my grandmothers house a few days ago to be greeted by grandmother, dad's brother-who-just-flew-in-from-islamabad and dad's sister who-lives-upstairs and ofcourse, my mother. I just came to say a friendly hello, but when uncle-from-isloo is around, it's always more than "hello". its "hello-where-is-your-life-going-when-are-you-getting-married-who-is-the-boy-hellooo".
So i knew immediately where the conversation was going to head the minute i was made to sit down facing him with my mom on one side, grandma on the other and aunt next to uncle. it was all very semi circlish with me at the base.
uncle: so beta, you are leaving for the states soon, correct?
me: jee, inshallah...i mean... i hope so...woh admission abhi nahi-
uncle: so is there a boy in the picture?
me: erm...not.. at the moment...
uncle: so you plan to meet someone there?
me: well... i dont PLAN on it...but maybe... i mean ...i guess...?
aunt: OFCOURSE she WILL. and beta whoever you choose is fine with us.
uncle: but OFCOURSE. kAy is smart and intelligent. we trust you completely beta. you character is actually very strong. your parents have brought you up very well mashallah.
*awkward pause*
grandmother: YAHOODI SAY SHAADI NAHI HO SAKTI. (translation: you cant marry a jew!)
uncle: beta, Hindu nahi ho sakta. (he can't be Hindu)
grandmother: ESSAYEE SAY SHAADI HAR GIZ NAHI HO GEE. (there is no way you will marry a christian)
aunt: beta, behtar hai tum nikkah kar kay amreeka jao. (it's best you get married and then go to america)
uncle: BUT, needless to say, we trust you completely.
But ofcourse they do. :P
Posts
27 comments:
Hi Kay,
All relatives are like that everywhere in the world. Hopefully I did not have to go thru this...All the best for your trip.
what IS it with desi and getting married?! The clerks at our factory are clamouring for mine. The CLERKS. Sheesh.
Haha, I've been victim to the trust thing more times than I can count! :) Sucks doesn't it how potent a weapon it is. At the end of the day, when they just let you out with an 'i trust you' it complicates EVERYTHING! :P
Haha, haven't we all been here, heard that? ;) Just work out different religious / cultural permutations and combinations. I think my parents are SO goddamn surprised that I'm going to end up marrying someone who shares a background with me. Inshallah. :)
sigh.. it never ceases to surprise me how much of this well meaning dialogue to inspire trust and confidence is the same all over :-D
i'm sure you'll work it out... After all you are trusted completely! :-D
hahahahahahha
hahahaha!
Shukar karo you got away with such a small list of "can'ts".
I am sure you understand their concerns, it would have been so much easier if they talk to us like we are adults *sigh*
oh i wish you could have said something along the lines of (very demurely) tau koee achee Urdu speaking larkee just like us ho saktee hai?
Aquarius: my relatives are actually mostly all talk :P they are too damn sweet to actually DO something like marry me off to a stranger!!
ali: its totally desi-ness. but hey, its entertaining sometimes :P
xeb: complicates is putting it mildly, oh the pressure. the moment you LOOK at a nice looking guy, you break down his background mentally in your head to see if he would "work"... oh forget about the personality..is the khandan right? :P
divvs: you lucky lucky girl- mashallah :)
zh: that was very "ivebeentheretoo" laughter :P
faraz: i condensed it. :P and yes i do understand their concerns better than they actually know it...what with friends in impossible relationships around me.. its hard NOT to watch my own back. :)
Aneela Z: my grandfather had JUST been brought home after two weeks at the hospital.. did NOT want to send him packing back there :P lol
BUT in my defence i did retaliate by saying,
"eesyaee yahoodi ya hindu, convert kar le toh masla nahi hai naa?"
that had them stunned for a few seconds :P
well whoever he is...has to pass the sisters....so there you go MORE PRESSURE :P hahaha
you couldve said ke eesayee aur yahoodi ehlay kitaab hain...you're actually allowed to marry them. its not advisable...but forgivable.
:P
another twist!
maria: thank you for making my life simpler :P
khiz: that is what my mom said... the ONLY thing she said during this whole conversation- to which the response was that "woh toh sahi hai par musalman larkee hai na yeh" :P
hahahahaha from the way the conversation goes, it sounds as if they're more pulling your leg than warning you ;)
I think your relatives are trying to tell you Buddhists are OK by them :-)
(Btw I'm a different Yawar ... just in case... :-)
Oh I just love what Yawar had to say...shayed aisa hee ho. Living in the times we do, perhaps they are trying to nudge us towards 'pacifist'types.
Waisey Kay, when it comes to family trust me (and this is something Im always telling people) there comes a time when they worry more IF you will ever marry (too independent, headstrong, emotionally non-needy) than WHOM you will marry...so 'azaadi' key us manzil tak kadam barhaey chalo!!
mayya: lol you are probably right.. and ill tellyou why in another post :)
Yawar: thanks for the clarification- i would have probably started off on you if you hadnt made the distinction :)
buddhists- haha, you know i'm going to use that next time i'm cornered ;)
Aneela: yes YOU would enjoy that :P
my family JUST relaxed last year when my elder somewhat stubborn cousin "finally" married at age 29 to a guy she chose-after years of meeting potentials sent by relatives :P i think they are worried i'll do the same (that is wait too long/never marry)...or worse; marry a 'firangee'haha.
Why must mothers always talk about marriage? It really really bothers me. There is so much more to life than marriage....
I'm a different Yawar too just in case =)
Wait...I just read your comment to Yawar (the other one). So if Yawar was really me(Yawar), then you would have started off on me(Yawar) but because it's a different Yawar, then you'll let him go with his Buddhist comment?
Though I agree with the other Yawar because I think anyone would be okay as long as they're good people. I bet Yawar agrees with me. Not to confuse you or anything like that, Kay.
Best,
Yawar
yawar:
did you even read the post? my mother has NO dialogue in this!
regardless, THAT is the comment i expected from you.:P
the 'ohwomenalwaystalkaboutmarraigecomment"
and by 'starting off on you' i meant in a good way...coz you actually responded to the post and not womankind in general the way you usually do! but then...you didnt because that was another yawar. lol.. you were as predictable as i imagined you would be :P
LOL. I swear I read the post. Now I don't even know why I said that about mom's.
I'll promise to be more careful next time. I'm actually still laughing but it's more out of embarassment than anything else.
But it's funny because I never expected myself to be so predictable. Cross my heart...will definitely take a new approach next time.
Promise.
Lol, we've all been there at way too many points in our life. :)
whoaaa i know this one...the circling of family members and elders smiling and then JUMP!!!
yap yap yappp..shadi...yap yap yap..shia..yap yap yapp...
age...blah blah
PLEASEEE!!
they sure as hell TRUST!!!;)
lol, parents and relatives are the same everywhere. :-))
--AJ.
Ahh. The magic of dadis. I miss mine.
yawar: after much consideration i have decided to give you one more chance lol
to the rest: yes..i see all of us truly have been there :P
Lol.... Since we have all been there, i wonder how many of us will repeat this episode when we are grownups and our sons and daughters are leaving for their studies :)
lol kay.. so true! everyone trusts u as long as u do what they expect.
but sometimes u dont get the trust even thoh u do ur best. then what does one do?
Post a Comment