Those aren't my words up there.
They were said to me by my mentor.
I told her i was leaving for two years.
She asked if i would ever come back (given the situation of the country n all).
Why would she ask me that? i asked.
Ofcourse i would come back. Not because i had to...but because i wanted to.
I told her it's pretty clear cut;
I am going away to learn photography. I am going to come back and be the first woman who actually did not give the practice up in Pakistan. I am going to teach and travel within Pakistan and spread the knowledge i received.
Inshallah Inshallah I am I am I am i told her.
Then she said that above stated sentence to me.
My heart hurt a little once the gravity of what she was trying to tell me sunk in.
Will "they" let me?
For those who don't understand what I'm talking about, take a peek at Kamal Siddiqi's article in NewsWeek (or was it THE NEWS) about Talibanization in Khi- no myths...hard and fast facts about the happenings in Karachi.
Then this happened today;
http://adpdiaries.blogspot.com/2009/04/ppp-attacks-shanaakht-festival-destroys.html
And my hurting heart broke a little.
Our identity, so to speak, was attacked by none other than ourselves.
Honestly, does it get any sadder than this?
For more details on the Shanakht Festival and what it is, please read Khizzy's Blog
http://cloudkhizzy.blogspot.com/2009/04/my-sad-500th-post-its-my-party-and-ill.html
Ps: I just got news the Festival has NOT been cancelled.
All Karachi-ites be there on Sunday! We must show the jahil bullies that the intelligent masses are united. let's flock the festival and support it. I will be there too since my grandfather is the last speaker of the event. He will talk about what Pakistan was like when he chose to migrate and how his generation laid the foundation of this country.
ADP will close the event with what i am sure will be a rocking performance.
stay safe people.
edit: Shanakht got cancelled. I really hope it changes it's mind. :(
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9 comments:
It's really heart breaking when your cultural identity is being destroyed from within. Who can you blame?
Would you like to guest post on my blog? I'm doing a series of post on "My Identity".
http://lion-essence.blogspot.com/2009/03/my-identity-guest-bloggers-are-invited.html
It'll be interesting to hear your story.
We can hardly blame any external elements for all the turmoil and unrest in our country. Making scapegoats out of the Afghan refugees may be very convenient, but surely is it not a case of the pot calling the pan black?
Forget external threats. The problem lies within. Pakistanis need to get over their hand-in-the-sand-ostrich syndrome and identify the real issue.
Art, culture, heck our very IDENTITY has been attacked. Things, as they stand, look very bleak. Very, very bleak.
Come back. You told me to stay. So I did. We need people like you.
I can relate very much to where you are coming from Khaula. With every incident that happens the resolve to return gets less intense. Every news article in all sorts of media outlets, formal or informal, local or international and even word of mouth makes a good number of expats like me think that is not the Pakistan we grew up in. Unfortunately, this is not a Pakistan that some of us might want our future generations to grow up in either.
I look at my friends who have children and think would they ever see the beauty that we saw in our Pakistan. These kids who are born in the shadow talibanisation, would they ever be able to dream the way our generations dreamt.
At the end of the day, we as individuals want to try to make a difference but in the words of iqbal Fard-e-Qayam cant do more than stirring a storm in a tea cup. The rational voices are lost in a sea of irrational ideas and our country continues its tail spin to an impending doom.
I apologize for the rant, but this post struck a chord with me.
Go with all your force, Kay. You must show them. When Arjun asked me if I was 'ok' with coming back home in a few years, I jumped for joy because this is truly, truly where I want to be. And that's how it SHOULD be for each of us. Every other day, you hear of something dreadful happening in Pakistan and if people around me cluck, I think of you and a few others and I tell them that our neighbours have more hope than we know. :)
That aside, somebody joined the FB group dedicated to your grandfather the other day and it appeared on my feed, so I just looked at the introduction on his page. I wondered what made him migrate, from what I suppose is "my" land to "yours". :) You must be so proud. My respects to him.
Cowasjee in one of his articles mentioned something very interesting
Mohammad Ali Jinnah Saab was enjoying tea in Karachi with Yusuf Abdullah Haroon, Rustum (Cowasjee’s father) and the writer himself. Their conversation was interrupted by an assistant who announced the arrival of a group of mulvis. They wanted to see Jinnah Saab. They had come to request his attendance for the Friday prayers. There was anxiety among mualvis on his refusal, they warned him they had already announced his presence and begged him indirectly pointing out potential consequence of skipping the Juma. Jinnah Saab was all helpless and looked around. When no one offered any assistance, he finally agreed with a condition to not to stand in front row but
one of the back rows with Yusuf standing exactly in front of him in the next row so he could follow Yusuf and make no wrong move. The entire thing was to be rehearsed before Friday prayers. Jinnah duly appeared for the prayers and gave a remarkable performance.
It may sound irrelevant but somehow I wanted to mention it here.
Hi Kay,
Have you got admission in PARSONS or FIT?I have taken admission in Parsons.Hope to see you there.
Best,
GIGI
Lion-ess...
i have no idea how i could contribute to your noble efforts but i would love to contribute.
let me know what i must do.
desi lawyer:
many have debated that that particular piece of art was in bad taste and after much consideration i do agree. not only was it a bad photoshopping job but it was an insensitive subject to portray. however that does not give them the right to destroy all the good work that was there. as a bunch of us were discussing, if they had taken that particular photograph throwin it out on the street and put fire to it and yelled out a few profanities aimed at the artist, that sort of reaction would have been more acceptable. listen to me, saying violence is acceptable.. but i am TRYING to understand the jiyala sentiments.. sigh.
yawar: don't worry. i have no plans of staying too far too long.
divya: lately my respect for my grandfather ( as i grow older) i suppose increases. at first i admit i had this attitude towards him where i felt he was less a grandfather, more a figure that belonged not to me but to Pakistan. Slowly, i have begun to realise we are one in the same and what he lived for rose above anything ordinary.
i hope that made sense. it did in my head but not so sure when ive put it down :)
as for each of our countries, no body will understand why we love them so much when at a first glance they essentially seem to grimy and sad. They dont know this is our ugly duckling stage in life :)
Valkyrie: i think i understand what you mean but you are right.. not related to the post in a very clear way. thank you for that contribution nonetheless. :)
GIGI: hmm, do we know each other personally? Please email me for personal questions :)
cocaine: i finally get where you come from too.
it complicated and figuring these things out is just not getting any easier.
i guess its a personal choice now...i just cannot imagine living somewhere else "forever". as much as i have dreams of living in exotic places.. in the end of that dream i always do fly home.
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